Many people have no clue how to date well, which is too bad - especially if they expect to have a successful relationship. After all, it's the first step in the whole process!
There are tricks to making your dating experiences fun and productive, so consider these advises as a primer on dating. I believe that after you've read this post, you'll have a much better handle on what it takes to have great dates and overcome common problems in this area to boot. If you accept the following realities, you'll be a successful "dater" in no time!
Reality # 1: Dating Is Difficult
Finding a love match is really hard. If you can't make things happen with another person, is there something wrong with you? Probably not. In fact, most of the factors deciding whether somebody will date you or not are out of your control - so give yourself a break! Maybe the person you're interested in is on the rebound, depressed, involved with someone else, or just having a bad day; or maybe your timing is wrong. This all means that, in addition to your sparkling personality, you'll need to have some luck on your side as you wade through the dating pool. And, yes, you're gong to have to kiss a lot of frogs. This leads us to the next reality. How To Make A Relationship Happy
Reality #2: You May Have to Date a Lot Before You Find the Right Person
Dating is like any other skill, so it may take some practice before you finally get it right. There's nothing wrong with meeting many new people - at least you'll get the sense of what you like and what turns you off. In other words, each unsuccessful dating experience is a slice of life that will help you define exactly what you want. I know that after you've been dumped it will be hard to think of it in this way, but try. Take some time to regroup, and then have the courage to start over again.
Reality #3: Be Yourself!
You can't hide your true personality forever - it will naturally come out sooner or later. You are who you are, so what's the point of trying to fool someone else?
Of course you and your date are going to put your best feet forward during your first few meetings, but if you act natural, you'll be able to see if there truly is any connection between you. This will save you both a lot of wasted time.
Reality #4: Great Dates Depend on Contributions from Both People
You don't deserve a second date if you just sit there and depend on the other person to carry the conversation and entertain you. Dating is an active process that will only be successful if both people make an effort. It isn't your date's responsibility to make the evening a memorable experience for you.
Many people are taught that their suitors should have the dates all planned out from beginning to end. This is a big mistake. Instead of adhering to this outdated belief, why don't you initiate some interesting conversation or suggest something creative for you both to do? This way, you won't look like a bump on a log, and your date will most likely appreciate your efforts.
Reality #5: A Date Should Be Used to Ask Questions and Size Up the Other Person
As you gaze across the table at your date, you find yourself dreamily thinking that they could be "The One," so you try not to be too forward or ask any upsetting questions. You don't really learn anything about this person's life ... until later, when you find out that they drink a lot, are ostracized from their family, and like to cheat on their partners. Suddenly, you realize that you're in love with a real loser.
How could this happen? Well, you made a crucial mistake in not asking questions about this person's life early on. You didn't do your dating job, which is to find out as much as you can about that person so that there are no surprises down the road. How To Make A Relationship Happy
There's nothing wrong with curiosity. In fact, if your date refuses to answer questions or acts offended, then you may be with someone who has some serious skeletons in their closet. The one question that I think is most important to ask during the first few dates is: "Why did your previous relationships fail?" Their answer will tell you a lot about how they handle failure, the types of people they like to get involved with, and how they attempt to solve problems. If they respond, "Oh, they just ended, that's all," press for more details. Nothing just "ends" - there are always reasons for relationship breakups.
Reality #6: While You're Dating Someone, Watch How They Treat Other People
I can't stress this enough: If your date is rude to your friends, family members, or even total strangers, you can expect the same treatment at some point.
You may overlook this behavior because your date tells you that "you're different from the rest." Don't buy it. You can't afford to live in a fantasy world in your quest to choose a partner for life. Open your eyes and see that the way your partner acts at their worst moments will eventually be directed at you. Is this what you want?
Reality #7: Too Much Attention May Drive Them Away
The person you're dating has their own life. Just because you're not together for an evening doesn't mean that they're out picking up other people. Yet it may be tempting to contact your date often, to let them know you care, to keep tabs on them, or to just hear their voice. But to continue doing this may get you dumped, because your date may feel that you're smothering them.
On the other hand, I once read a book that said one should never call a date back. This is incredibly stupid advice, since common courtesy dictates that calls should be returned. The bottom line is that you should just take it easy and go with the flow. This is easier said than done, I know - but desperation is never a strong selling point, at any stage of a relationship. To learn more, you can check out How To make A Relationship Happy.
