Reality #8: When Sex Enters the Picture, Your Relationship Will Change
Sex changes the dynamic of any relationship, it's that simple. It can bring two people closer together or can quickly lead to the end of the relationship. In fact, one of the most common questions I'm asked is: "When should I first sleep with someone?" I believe that sexual relations should only commence after you're pretty confident that the relationship will last and that you're not being used. Ultimately, this is something you'll probably feel in your gut, so you'll have to decide if the time is right and then go for it. I've known people who had sex on their first date and then went on to get married. I've seen others wait for years, only to have the relationship break up. So there's no absolute timetable for everyone.
Sex represents taking a chance in your relationship. If you've asked the right questions about your date's sexual history, you use protection, and you feel a real connection with each other, then your roll of the dice might be a successful one.
Reality #9: Long-Distance Relationships Are Almost Impossible to Pull Off
I know this one from experience. When I was in college, I tried to carry on a relationship with someone who lived a few hours away. We really did like each other, but every weekend we spent our time together fighting about petty issues. I finally figured out that we were simply trying too hard to make every moment together "special," since we wouldn't see each other again for a week. The relationship ultimately crumbled from the pressure. Tips For Marriage Life
This isn't unusual. Long-distance relationships are mysterious and exciting but difficult to maintain. After all, you can't really get to know someone if you only see them periodically. If your relationship has any chance of working, then at some point you must make the commitment to live in the same location (of course, there are exceptions to every rule).
I'd also like to take this opportunity to comment on Internet dating. A friend of mine met his wife on-line-but he also moved to her city, and they got to know each other quite well before they committed. They have a great chance of staying together. However, meeting people over the lnternet can be very dangerous. People lie about themselves and misrepresent their lives - you really don't know whom you're chatting with. I implore you to at least be safe. Meet your new "e-buddy" in a very public place, and take a friend along,
Reality #10: You Need to Feel Comfortable in Order to Meet Another Person
Dating is a humbling experience that can take its toll on your self-esteem. For example, many people make the mistake of going out to places that make them uncomfortable because they're the happening "meat markets." I met my wife at a local bar/restaurant, but it was a place where we both felt at ease.
Now you may get lucky and bump into your soul mate on the street one day, like in the movies. But chances are, that's not going to happen. So the challenge for you is to define what you like to do and then go out and pursue these activities. You'll meet people with similar interests, and if you don't find anyone to date, you'll at least make new friends ... and who knows who they'll introduce you to? After all, it's been said that most people meet their future spouses through mutual friends.
Reality # 1 1: It Only Takes One
If you went out and asked ten people for a date and nine rejected you, you'd probably feel pretty lousy. Yet if just one said yes and you went on to have a terrific time, would it have been worth the effort?
My point here is that you may feel like giving up after a series of bad dates or rejections. But if your goal is to form a relationship that lasts, you can't afford to have this attitude. It's not going to work out with most of the people you date.., but one successful date is all you need to get the ball rolling for a successful relationship.
This is one area I personally know a lot about. I became so frustrated with dating at one point that I decided to go on a "dating sabbatical." So for several months I didn't ask anyone out or try to get phone numbers when I went out with friends. Strangely enough, I felt better about myself during this time than when I was dating, and I developed other interests. And this story has a happy ending, because I met Betsy when I wasn't looking. Our dates just seemed to click, and the rest is history. Tips For Marriage Life
Reality #12: There's No Use Playing Dating Games
Playing games seems to be most people's m.o. out in the dating world - some people play hard to get, while others feel love for another person but won't say it out loud. This is a real shame - don't you think that your partner deserves to know how you really feel?
I admit that this is a matter of timing. It's probably not wise to profess your undying love to someone on the first date (that is, unless you want to see them flee as fast as they can!). But at some point, if you have loving feelings, you should share them. After all, it's possible that your partner feels exactly the same way you do, but is scared to admit it.
As I said before, the real you will eventually come out. Sharing and generosity will open the door for love and kindness to flow in both directions. Someone has to make the first move, so why not you?
Believe me, I know how hard dating can be. But I think that with the right attitude of openness, honesty; and fun, you can easily attract a great date - who just may turn into something more. To learn more, you can check out Tips For Marriage Life.
