Problem #3: You Missed the Signs
It may be that you're the "last one to know," or you're simply denying that your loved one could be with someone else and hurt you tremendously. Now, I don't want you to walk around feeling paranoid and suspicious for no reason - but if you suspect that something's up, you may be right.
Solution #3
Learn to detect the red flags of infidelity:
- Your partner begins to spend a lot of time away from home, either "working late" or going out with "friends." Maybe there is a lot of work to do, but be aware that this may be a sign that trouble is brewing.
- Your partner is evasive about details of daily activities. If there's nothing to hide, then there won't be any hesitation to answer your innocent questions. If you hear, "It's none of your business!" then you need to be on guard.
- You find unfamiliar addresses or telephone numbers. I'm not telling you to rifle through your partner's purse or wallet, but if you happen to find suspicious-looking scraps of paper or business cards, you need to take this as a sign of possible behind-the-scenes activity. It's perfectly acceptable to ask, "l was just wondering - who is that?" Again, an angry, defensive, or defiant response should be a tip-off.
- There's a dramatic change in your partner's appearance or behavior. Is there a shift in your sex life, especially a dwindling of sexual contact? If you and your partner don't have sex anymore, it's fair to wonder if someone else has entered the picture. If your partner starts to take an unusual interest in their physical appearance (buying a new wardrobe or exercising), it may be the case that an effort is being made to impress someone else.
Problem #4: Your Partner Doesn't Want to Save Your Relationship
When infidelity has occurred, two things must happen if there's to be any chance of salvaging the relationship.
First, the cheater must be willing to give up the affair. Second, they must agree to do whatever it takes to make your relationship whole again - be it couples' counseling, a renewal of the marriage vows, or a trial separation.
Solution #4
This one is really straightforward - if your partner won't agree to the above conditions, then you should take action to end the relationship now. This is the most caring thing you can do for yourself. There's no other option, unless you're masochistic and desire a lot more pain in the future.
In addition, your partner must let you be angry and gradually learn to trust again. They must be patient - after all, they lost their right to tell you how to feel when they broke the covenant to stay true to you. It won't help you to punish your partner for the rest of your lives, but it's okay to take some time to regain trust. However, if you find that you can never regain faith in your partner, no matter how hard you try or how much time has passed, then read on,
Problem #5: You Can Never Trust Your Partner Again
I won't fault you if you simply can't feel the same level of love and trust for your unfaithful partner again. You may have trouble with the image of them having sex with someone else, or the details of the affair may be so incredibly hurtful that you just want your partner to go away forever. This is understandable.
The question is whether you can ever attain the same level of trust that was present before the infidelity. Some couples work through it and go on to a healthy and loving relationship; others find that the cheating tears everything apart to the point that they can never go back. Effects Of Infidelity
Solution #5
You shouldn't have to live your life with someone you have little confidence in. At the end of the day, you'll be miserable. So you need to ask yourself these two questions:
1. Am I still in love with my partner? If the answer to this question is no, then it's time to admit that you need to move in a different direction. I know that love is a nebulous emotion, but why stay with someone just to prove a point? It's not as if any of your friends or family members will think that you're being strong if you've got nothing left emotionally.
2. Is there any happiness left for us? It may be that the pain and humiliation outweighs any sense of joy between you. You might still feel some degree of love for your partner, but your relationship ceases to be fun, or maybe the infidelity is just the final straw in a relationship that went bad long ago. If this is the case, why stay with someone and muddle along? You deserve the chance to find someone else who will love you unconditionally and honestly.
I know this is a very difficult and painful subject to deal with, but with time, support, and a lot of work, you will make it through ... and your relationship just might, too. To learn more, you can check out Effects Of Infidelity.
