Problem #3: Your Partner Wants to Make All the Decisions
The best relationships are "run" by both partners. For example, some nights my wife decides what to have for dinner, while other nights I make the call. We share the responsibility equally - because we're both mature enough to let the other have their way. This is a simple example, but it illustrates our ability to share. No matter whether the decision is large or small, we both have input.
The jealous and controlling partner won't allow you to have any ideas of your own. The jealous part of them can't admit that maybe you're smart, too; and the controlling part of them feels the need to make all the decisions, it may be easy for you to sit back and go with the flow, but trust me, this tendency will ultimately make your life much more difficult. You'll have absolutely no say in anything that happens in your relationship, and you'll eventually feel smothered.
You mustn't allow yourself to get into this situation. Here's the solution. How To Make A Happy Relationship
Solution #3
Early on in your relationship, you need to develop a presence as a decisive person and offer up your input regarding any major decision that affects you both. Whether your partner agrees with you or not isn't the point - but you'll have sent the message that you're assertive and you won't be arbitrarily controlled and pushed around. Then you can both compromise and decide together what path seems best.
If your partner insists that all decisions must go their way, then know that you've committed to a selfish narcissist who's on a power trip at your expense. Over time you'll grow very unhappy unless you have the courage to make the one decision that's yours and yours alone - end the relationship and find a more amenable partner.
Problem #4: Your Partner Can't Be Proud of You
Your jealous partner just can't say, "Good job! I'm really proud of you." Instead, they secretly wish you to fail because this will prove that they're indeed brighter and more talented than you are. And if you try something new and don't succeed, your jealous partner will either pepper you with insulting or degrading remarks or won't say anything at all.
Perhaps your partner had an undemonstrative parent who never showed them any love. If that's the case, they should get help - it's not fair for you to be the recipient of their childhood baggage. But regardless of what the motivation is, when jealousy enters your relationship, it becomes a race to see who's "better" ... a race nobody can win.
Solution #4
There's no way to force your partner to be supportive or to say nice things to you. No matter how perfect you are or how much you accomplish, your partner may never be able to provide the acceptance you long for. How To Make A Happy Relationship
However, it's reasonable for you to need some sort of emotional support. If your partner is willing (which I doubt they will be), explore why it's difficult for them to say kind words to you. Then, if the pattern doesn't change for the better, you have to decide to do things just for yourself. You may be surprised to learn that your partner is left in your wake as you expand your circle of friends and bring some excitement into your life.
As you deal with a jealous partner, just remember that a person who really loves you will be on your side and root for you to succeed in life. Even if you fall flat on your face, they'll be there to pick you up and offer words of encouragement and support because they value you.
They'll want you to be your own person, pick your friends, dress how you want, and have the freedom to pursue your own interests and dreams. A truly loving mate allows you to keep growing as a person, rather than attempting to mold you into what they want. So control your own destiny - don't let another person's jealous and controlling nature stand in your way.
Anger
Can you remember a time when you were extremely angry at your significant other? How did you express yourself - did you yell and scream, throw things, or just slink away and pout for days?
If you grew up in a home where anger wasn't managed correctly and matters got out of hand, then you probably think of it as a destructive emotion. Whether your parents had knock-down, drag-out fights or didn't speak to each other for days - the message was sent that anger causes people to act irrationally and even ruin their relationships.
If you were really lucky, your childhood experience was different, and you were able to see your parents come together to calmly and rationally discuss their relationship conflicts. Your mom and dad may have been upset with each other, but they dealt with their problems and moved on. And so, as you got older, you learned to channel angry feelings constructively.
I hope that after you've read this and next post, you'll actually be able to use anger to your advantage and develop effective techniques for managing any frustrations you might have. In fact, I don't think that you have much choice in this matter - if you refuse to learn how to control your anger or if you stay with someone who's full of rage, then this decision will impact your life in very negative ways, So it's time to leave behind the yelling and, silent treatments and choose peace and tranquility.
To learn more, you can check out How To Make A Happy Relationship.
