Tips On Healthy Relationship - Problems With Your Partner

Tips On Healthy Relationship

Problem #2: Your Partner Refuses to Change 

You went through all of the steps correctly yet your partner just keeps on as if you'd never had a conversation about modifying the situation. No matter how much you complain, they continue engaging in their irritating habit.
You're being shown a total lack of respect. It's as if your partner is thumbing their nose at you, saying, "I'm just going to keep on doing it. What are you going to do now?" 

This shifts the matter into another realm - the annoying habit has becomes less important than your partner's lack of respect. If your partner really cared about your feelings, they'd try really hard to please you. Once in a while they might forget and mess up, which is understandable, since giving up their habit may be like losing an old friend.
 
But if they don't put forth any effort at all, this indicates deeper problems with their personality and your relationship in general. Being ignored is hurtful, and living with a partner who does things that disgust you isn't going to work. This is a no-win situation for both of you - the more you complain, the deeper your partner will dig in. It will seem as if your partner is a child who's screaming, "You can't make me do anything! I'll do whatever I want!"

Solution #2 

This behavior will force you to make a decision: Are you resigned to live a life filled with annoyance, or are you willing to end the relationship? You can't regard this as a decision about one little habit - this minimizes the whole issue. It's now a matter of disrespect and concern for your feelings. Tips On Healthy Relationship
 
You must find a way to communicate to your partner that you're both entering a treacherous area in your relationship. They'll probably try to make you feel petty for arguing about something that's "no big deal" and tell you that you're being selfish and bratty. Of course, this is their attempt to derail the conversation and place the blame on you.

Don't fall for it. You must express how unhappy it makes you when you're feeling unsupported and disrespected. If you break up, it won't matter if your partner tells his or her friends that you ended it over something "dumb." You'll know the truth ... and so will they.
 
It's natural for your significant other to occasionally do things that you think are irritating or ridiculous. Your temptation may be to yell and nag and try to win them over to your side (which you feel is the "better" way). But sometimes you're just going to have to accept the fact that even though your partner does things differently, their approach isn't necessarily wrong. Ask yourself whether you're attempting to make your partner do things your way for the sake of your ego. If this is the case, maybe it's time to celebrate the fact that we can all contribute in different ways - maybe their method is actually better. Why not at least give them the opportunity?


Household Chores


When you live with your significant other, it isn't all wine and roses and romance somebody has to clean the toilets and throw out the garbage! 

Do you think that anyone really has fun doing household chores? Maybe there are a few compulsively neat people around who actually enjoy them, but most of us avoid such activities like the plague, while we secretly hope that someone else will do our "dirty work." 

Fantasizing that someone will come along and be your personal maid or butler is all well and good, but reality is going to hit you sooner or later. You're going to have to pitch in and help out with household duties for the following reasons:

1. It's the right thing to do. It's simply not fair to expect your partner to take care of all the undesirable tasks while you get off scot-free.
2. Laziness will only breed resentment on the part of the partner who does all the work.
3. Being an equal in a committed relationship means that you volunteer to do equal amounts of the work.

I hated doing chores as a kid, and I still hate them as an adult. But I love my wife too much to pawn all the grunt work off on her. She didn't get married to become my mother ... which she's reminded me of many times over the years. Tips On Healthy Relationship

I can tell you from personal experience that all kinds of personality flaws will pop up when two people debate the relative amount of housework each one does. That's because we all tend to overestimate the time and energy we spend on tasks we don't enjoy. For example, a friend of mine told me that it takes him a good hour a day to wash the dishes. Since he's only cleaning for two people, I don't think this is humanly possible - I mean, how many plates can he and his wife use?
 
Also, when undesirable work is involved, it seems as if other activities take on an immediate urgency. For example, when there's vacuuming to be done, I'll suddenly remember several errands outside the home I need to run.
 

In fact, one of the lightbulbs in our house has been burned out for months, and I haven't changed it because, well, I was writing a book, I was working at a hospital, I was too tired, I just didn't get to it ... none of which changed the fact that it's been dark in that closet for a long time.
 
You need to develop a system to figure out how to split up work around the house. And you shouldn't automatically assume that the woman will do all the cooking and cleaning. That's old school - you need to stop living in the '50s and enter the 21st century. Successful relationships are made up of two partners who are both willing to help out.
 
Once again, next post's structure deviates slightly from the others in that there are no problems and solutions, just a llst of agreements for you and your partner to make. Hopefully, they'll help make this subject as palatable as possible. To learn more, you can check out Tips On Healthy Relationship.