Agreement # 1: Household Chores Will Be Split Fairly
The best way to divide up the work is obviously right down the middle. If you determine that there are 20 household jobs that need to accomplished in a week, then it's easy - you do 10 and your partner does the other 10. If you and your partner can agree to such an even split, great ... if not, read on.
Agreement #2: Each List of Jobs Will Be Given Equal Weight
One person shouldn't have to take on all the difficult chores while the other gets off easy. For instance, if you get to dust the furniture while your partner has to go out and weed the garden, then there's a relative difference in the time and energy each person is expending. You can go about remedying this problem in one of two ways:
- Divide the chores evenly so that each person has some tough jobs and some that aren't so demanding.
- Draw up an "easy" list and a "hard" list that are rotated between you and your partner on a daily or weekly basis (depending on the frequency of work needed).
My wife and I take turns deciding what to have for dinner, and then whoever cooks that night is responsible for cleaning up. We also try to rotate cleaning tasks: one week I scrub the floors and clean the kitchen and bathrooms, while she vacuums and dusts; the next week we reverse the jobs. This seems to work well, as neither of us gets burned out doing the same old chores over and over. Ways To Make A Relationship Better
Agreement #4: You'll Stop Complaining about Housework
Whining about your tasks certainly won't improve morale in your relationship. A lot of couples start to blame each other when the house is dirty or there's garbage to be dealt with. Accept that you're going to generate some mess. It's a fact of life - even the cleanest person on the planet can't avoid dust, dirt, and germs. So acknowledge that you and your partner both make messes, which you both need to clean up.
Agreement #5: You Won't Procrastinate
Do you actually think that the garage will clean itself or the lawn will magically get mowed in the middle of the night? Sure, we all have a tendency to put off tasks that aren't fun, but when things pile up for weeks, it becomes that much harder to catch up. That's why I feel that doing one thing at a time is a heck of a lot simpler than trying to do everything at once. After all, "later" doesn't equate to "easier."
Agreement #6: You'll Set Aside a Regular Time for Chores
A haphazard time schedule will only lead to chores being left undone, so it will work much better if you and your partner set a definite time each day or week to get the job done. If you can make and keep appointments at work, why shouldn't you be able to fit household jobs into a schedule as well? You can even write them in your planner - if someone else sees that you schedule housework they may think that you're a bit strange, but so what? At least you'll rest assured that your home is a clean one!
Agreement #7: When an Emergency Arises, You'll Both Help Out
I know that this veers off our topic slightly, but things will come up without warning to knock you off your schedule. Maybe you'll have to work long hours one week, or you become ill - either way, your household tasks will get put on the back burner while you deal with more important matters. I certainly hope that your significant other will agree to pitch in and keep things going around the house until everything stabilizes. Ways To Make A Relationship Better
This category also encompasses those situations in which there are more severe challenges in your household. For example, some friends of mine have a child with significant and persistent health problems, which has caused sleepless nights, huge medical bills, and emotional and physical strain on them both. Yet they've survived the ordeal because both of them help out with their child equally and also share the other work involved in daily living. My point here is that if one partner is ill, out of town, disabled, or preoccupied with other family matters, then the other person needs to pick up the slack. If you're not willing to do this for the person you love, then what are you doing in a committed relationship in the first place?
The common theme in all of these agreements is a spirit of generosity and fairness. There are several ways you can show your partner you love them - flowers and candlelit dinners are nice, but more important is doing something each day to make their life a little easier. This is a selfless way of living. If, however, you expect your significant other to spend their life catering to you and cleaning up your messes, then you're simply exhibiting arrogant and inconsiderate behavior.
Helping with the workload is a loving gesture. It may not be as flashy as a new piece of jewelry or a night out on the town, but it's just as important. To learn more, you can check out Ways To Make A Relationship Better.
