Josh and Amanda are in their mid-thirties with two children and a baby on the way. Erin is eight years old and Hannah is five. Here are Josh and Amanda's daily details goals, which they'll list in their partnering date book. Note how these issues highlight their stage in life and how their children are included in the scheduling.
- Stick to our regular talking times
- Figure out how Amanda can quit work and stay home once the baby comes
- Work together better as parents
- Keep practicing the Intentional Dialogue, so it becomes second nature and we don't have to schedule such long talks
- Put lovemaking on our future list - after the baby comes
- Continue our Sunday afternoon family meetings
- Reevaluate how we want our parents involved once the baby arrives
And now listen in as Amanda and Josh discuss how they came up with their list. Amanda explained,
We're pretty good at talking, but it takes some effort to stick to our schedule. We both feel better when we stick to the regularly scheduled talking times. The girls notice the difference, too. We're more patient with each other and with them after we've had our talks - so they're calmer. Can People Get Back Together After A Break Up
Also, we want to work harder on the basics, now, before the baby comes. Life will be more hectic in four months. We've made a lot of progress on communication skills, but they still need some work.
Josh added,
Amanda and I have a list of bigger things to keep working on, too - all are "in progress." A major issue is figuring out how Amanda can quit work and stay home once the baby comes. Our initial discussions were a major feat! They included working out the finances, my workload, each of our ability to be with the kids. and so on. We celebrated after talking this through, that's for sure! I'm sure we will have to refine the plan when the baby is actually here.
The couple notes that their communication has improved as they have learned to partner, but they also recognize that there are a few things under the surface that could erupt with the added pressure of a new baby. They have agreed to do one Intentional Dialogue a week for the next month, "even if we have to hire a baby-sitter so that we can go sit in a coffee shop and have our talk." Josh and Amanda are also committed to including the girls in family meetings. Said Amanda,
We talk about things we each like and need that week, and the girls really pitch in with their needs as well. They always like to vote on a video or activity. Josh and I then plan our schedules in front of the girls, so everyone is included and they are aware of what's happening. They get to hear us plan our couple time, as well as our individual time with each of them. It helps them understand that we need time together, but we'll give them their special time, too.
Creating Your Relighting Romance Date Book
Now it is your turn to create your date book. Because you have been doing the exercises each week and actively working toward your goals together, creating your Relighting Romance date book should be quite simple. Here are the steps:
Individually, each of you should review all the goals you set together in Step 8, and then review the progress you have made toward these goals in Steps 9 and 10. Can People Get Back Together After A Break Up
Now, each of you should make three lists:
- Issues still unresolved
- Daily details not yet in progress
- Future goals you both have decided to work on within the year
Next, still working individually, prioritize your goals from most important to least important in your life right now. Indicate which things you need to work on daily, weekly, monthly, semiannually, and annually. Lastly, identify those things that involve your entire family.
Now, come together as partners to discuss your goals for the coming three to four months. Use mirroring and active listening to clarify what each of you desires. Then make a master list of mutually agreed upon Individual, Partnership, and Family goals that are appropriate at this time. Put everything that you are not able to address currently on a list for the future.
Once you have agreed upon the Individual, Partnership, and Family goals you are going to work on in the coming three to four months, schedule conversations, dialogues, and meetings to accomplish your goals. Put these in your Relighting Romance date book. As before, agree to be accountable and follow through.
If you need more details about your date book, you can check out Can People Get Back Together After A Break Up.
