Turn Problems into Mutual Goals and Work Toward Them Together
Throughout this program you have discontinued fighting, changed your perspective, replaced negative interactions with positive ones, and become closer again. Along the way, you have identified unresolved issues, and you have reflected on things you'd like to improve or dreams you'd like to reach for. In Step 7, you made a master list and put it "on your partnering table." This list included every issue either of you felt was still unresolved, any areas needing improvement, and any other desires or dreams you long for.
Now, in Relighting Romance Step 8: Turn Problems into Mutual Goals and Work Toward Them Together, you are going to turn your problems into goals you can reach for together. You are going to turn what has been negative into a positive. The following is a list of what you will do:
- Turn your "issues and problems" into "daily details" you resolve together. Resolving everyday conflicts, or smoothing out your daily details, will be your primary focus in Steps 8-10. These are typically the everyday things that you bicker about or push under the rug and continuously trip over (such as child care or parenting differences, household chores, who plans the dates or social calendar, frequency of sex, how finances are handled, and so on). Because you encounter these differences, disagreements, or issues frequently, they can easily erode the good feelings between you. Addressing each one together will make your daily life run much more smoothly, freeing more time and energy for the next type of goal. Proven Method Getting Your Girlfriend Back Relationship
- Revitalize your Relighting Romance Dreams and reach for them together. These goals include bigger dreams and future desires. You may want to achieve some of these in three months and others in three, ten, or fifteen years.
These Relighting Romance Dreams include goals that may feel a bit out of your reach and may take a bit longer to accomplish. So it is important to begin taking action toward achieving them gradually over time. Some of you are more ready to tackle your Relighting Romance Dreams than others.
It doesn't matter. I want each of you to begin practicing envisioning your Relighting Romance Dreams and taking small steps toward achieving them together in the posts ahead.
You may already be an active goal-setter. Perhaps you are one of those people who doesn't like or know how to set goals. The facts are
- people who set goals achieve more in life;
- when two people try to accomplish something together, they need to choose the same target and synchronize their efforts;
- those who clarify what they want and decide how they will work to achieve their dreams will do just that.
Matching your goals and accomplishing them together will make you feel competent and successful as partners. You will become masters at achieving your own destiny - staying connected, having more fun, and being creative - far beyond all the advises given in this blog.
Your Goals: Are They Basic Needs, Desires, or Dreams?
As you grow, you each have the opportunity to provide for yourself and others at two levels. The first is a basic survival level. These are needs for food, clothing, shelter, and medical attention, as well as the money, to attain these necessities. You also have sexual needs. Proven Method Getting Your Girlfriend Back Relationship
The second level involves things you want. You do not need that red dress or new car, but you may want it! Unlike survival needs, which, if unmet, can result in illness or even death, wants can be modified. You may want a feast, but a steak sandwich may do. You may want a two-week vacation, but a day by the lake may better fit your schedule and budget - and give you the downtime you want.
Then there are the "wants" that some people think of as abundance or "havingness." Achieving a sense of simplicity and living a sustainable lifestyle falls into this category for some. For others, it is multiple homes, cars, and vacations. For yet others, abundance includes feeling at being healthy, and having time for family and friends.
Allowing yourself this kind of wealth may or may not involve money. Such abundance may relate to your wealth of knowledge, wisdom, friends, or laughter or your connection to God, a Higher Being, nature, or beauty. Allowing yourself to explore what you truly want is where your dreams and desires come into play.
After understanding this, next post, we'll go into some real life examples of different families. If you want to learn more, you can check out Proven Method Getting Your Girlfriend Back Relationship.
