Sue's affair with Greg ended the way most affairs end - it died a natural death. Once an affair is exposed to the realities of life, the protective bubble usually breaks and the passion fades away. Without passion, the stupidity of an affair becomes painfully apparent to everyone involved, and the only emotion left is depression of the worst kind.
The affair was bad enough for Jon, but the way it ended seemed even worse. Greg left Sue. Only then was she willing to have Jon come back home. Jon had won her back only because Greg was no longer interested in her. If I had not prepared him for this likely outcome, I doubt that Jon would have been willing to give his marriage another chance. How Do I End An Affair
I have already given you a glimpse of what my advice to Sue was when I saw her immediately after she and Greg were discovered together. I simply suggested that she never see or talk to Greg again. She did try to follow my advice for about a week, but her attachment to Greg ultimately got the best of her.
However, there are couples who have followed my advice. They were spared the pain and suffering that Sue and Jon endured in the months following the exposure of her affair. And their marital recovery was much easier because they ended their affair the right way. How should an affair end? Lee and Kevin's experience is a good example of how it should be done,
Kevin and Lee's Story
Hey Kevin, what's up? As Kevin's friend and coworker, Amy knew something was wrong.
Oh, it's nothing, probably just the forty thing, Kevin responded, referring to the fact that he had just turned forty. He had a great job as manager of an auto dealership, and had four beautiful children. But he was unhappy with the way his life was turning out.
His discontent was with his wife, Lee. She had changed, and Kevin wasn't sure why. She had always been there for him, with encouraging conversation and affection that seemed to have no limits. Lee had also looked sensational, and they used to have a wonderful sex life together. Unfortunately these were all just memories.
Kevin noticed a change in Lee when their first child was born. He knew that children would require adjustments in their lifestyle, but he never thought that a child would create such a transformation in Lee's attitude toward him. Before their child arrived, Kevin seemed to be her highest priority in life, but after the child, he seemed to be her lowest priority.
Their second child made matters even worse. All the love and affection that Lee had given to Kevin during the first years of their marriage were now refocused on their two children. As two more children arrived, Kevin and Lee's relationship continued to deteriorate.
Lee was a good mother and gave her children excellent care. She kept them clean and well fed, helped them with homework, and was their chauffeur to music lessons, sports practice, and church events. But her self-sacrificing care for the children kept her in a constant state of exhaustion. She knew something was lacking in her relationship with Kevin but she was simply too busy and too tired to give it much thought, let alone do something about it.
Amy knew that Kevin hadn't been his happy-go-lucky self for some time and she was concerned about him. You seem to be really down about something, Kevin, I'm a good listener, Amy said, encouraging him to confide in her.
In the next two hours, Kevin poured his heart out. Nearly in tears, he explained how depressed he had been lately. He just didn't feel like doing much of anything anymore, and had little enthusiasm for life. He also mentioned how his relationship with Lee had suffered over the years - how low he was on her list of priorities. How Do I End An Affair
Amy listened attentively. Trying to help, she suggested that he might start an exercise program with Lee as a way of rebuilding their relationship and his health, all at the same time. I started working out at the health club last month. It sure has made me feel better. I could get you two free passes if you'd like.
Wow! Kevin thought. That does sound like a good idea. Maybe that's all Lee and I need - a little time together.
That night Kevin told Lee about the passes and suggested they plan to go out together at least twice a week. But Lee did not share his enthusiasm. I really wouldn't want to leave the children alone at night. But it might not be a bad idea for you to go. It might make you feel a little better if you got some exercise.
So Kevin decided to work out twice a week - with Amy. The exercise made him feel much better, and it wasn't long before he increased it to three times a week, then four, and finally he met Amy almost every day. He lost fifteen pounds, built endurance and muscle tone, and had not felt so good in years. Each morning he could hardly wait to meet Amy for their morning workout.
Lee encouraged Kevin to go to the health club every morning, because she could see how much healthier and happier he had become. But she didn't realize that Amy was exercising with Kevin. It wasn't that Kevin had lied about it - the topic of his exercise parther simply never came up.
It wasn't long before Kevin and Amy had fallen in love with each other. It was predictable, because they spent the most enioyable moments of each day together. They were both able to conceal their emotions fairly well at first. But it was only a matter of time before the truth was revealed.
One day when they were together, Kevin brought up the subject of Amy's husband, AI. it was quite an innocent question: How is Al doing these days? Next post, I'll continue the story of Kevin and Amy. However, you can check out How Do I End An Affair to find out more.
